Frustration

Frustration


My life isnt fiction.
It isnt what you see on television.
You havent read it in any novel.
If you heard about it, you could only ask why.
Im lucky enough to live it.

Im as open and grounded as a cliché.
Nobody is wrong in my eyes.
Each person is a color in my painting.
My September scale secretly weighs my conscious of heart and mind.
There are two sides to the coin, I see them side-by-side.

When it was time to talk, I listened.
As others left, I stayed.
People offered their support, I acted on my word.
Failure was out of the question.
My shoulders beared the weight of desire.

Everything is right in other eyes, what am I doing wrong?
How much longer can this last?
People have a vision...
Im supposed to be somewhere, but I cant get there.
It is a riddle I cant answer.

Ive walked from my satisfaction.
Experienced my happiness,
Still devout to my inner feelings,
Remembering is a cure and a curse.

The heart has no compass.

Single

Single is a black dot on white paper,
a lone tree in the middle of the desert floor.
Single is seperate,
distinguished by individuality.
Something unique because we know it as ONE.

Single keeps my mind open,
away from preasure,
a road of my own
on the map of influence.

Single warrants questions,
from family,
from friends.
Questions about girlfriends,
grandkids and when?

Single is extra money on Valentine's Day,
an emotionless kiss spared on New Year's.
Single keeps you out of the carpool lane
and wastes a perfect set of wine glasses.

Single is strength,
as strong as one's heart.
Single displays emotion,
that sets us all apart.

Single is the block that makes foundations.
The example that creates trends.
Single is the idea we started,
at a moment in time with our friends.

Single is the underestimated,
often unappreciated.
Single was the grain of sand
that made the beach,
or the final color that finished the rainbow.

Single is a term of strength and diversity,
rarely worn on your sleeve.
Single shows independence,
our own thoughts we believe.

Single is who and why I am.
Neither strong nor weak,
big or small...
Single is me,
who I am amongst you all.

Black and White and Gray All Over

My mind forever battles the right and wrongs,
the do's and dont's,
what is good and what is bad...
All more frequently I see it
isn't so much Black and White,
but shades of Gray.

What is old is slowly leaving,
situations, relationships, decisions.
Momentos meaningless to us,
left to find new meaning to another.
Porcelan, Cotton, Canvas...

Make way for the new,
situations, relationships, decisions.
Possessions without history,
starting the cycle we've been dealt,
gaining purpose each and every day.
Glass, Leather, Prints...

Precious and Fragile Things,
gifts not of my creation,
though I would be happy to have them.
Their Reason, equally important...
The essence of me
would be my gift.

Profession drives livelyhood,
Love anchors the heart...
Whether I choose black,
or whether I choose white...
All I see are shades of gray.

Absence

Starving fingertips fuel an empty heart.
Once perfumed clothes now left ordinary.
Dusty tickets and saved messages.
That which my eyes don't see in the light,
my mind won't let me forget in the dark.

Competition displays character.
Ethic driven by desire.
Sweat and scars lead to knowledge.
Experience is the true educator.
Circumstances eventually create a martyr.

Left to question myself,
I look into the mirror.
Good intentions leaving me nowhere,
my mind becomes infected with doubt.
Words lose their meaning,
as war is waged with my conscience.

The relations lost leave a void
where happiness should be.
Integrity will keep me honest,
Trust will give me the courage
to start again without prejudice.

See with your eyes, not with your heart.

See with your eyes, not with your heart

Submerged in emotion,
the cold chills the heart,
shocks the system,
pauses breathing and you gasp.

The air out of your lungs,
your senses numb,
the longer you're under,
the less you can feel.
A relationship.

Angst is all that remains.
Beauty causes pain.
flowing through veins,
your insides ache a
hollow feeling.

Time lapses and pleasure
turns to pain.
Your eyes don't feel,
your heart doesn't see.

You do as you are.
without consequence,
without reluctance
with passion.
Every time.